Sleeping Lunatic

I guess when I am out, I am *out*.

We took our little family (with Kathy and Krissy) to the first Jazz home game of the playoffs against the Denver Nuggets the other night. It was a really late game - it started at 8:30 and we got out of there around 11:30. I was really hesitant about going because a) it would fiddle with Baby's sleeping schedule and b) I don't want to blast out his hearing before he's even crawling.

I had been looking and looking for a baby sized set of protective ear muffs but I could only ever find them online - all the stores just had adjustable adult sizes. Jimmy ended up buying a $7 pair of the adult kind at Walmart and they seemed to work really well for Baby at the game. So well, in fact, that taking care of problem B also took care of problem A: Stockton fell asleep for the whole game except for the first quarter! If you've ever been to a Jazz playoff game, then you know that's *amazing*. Needless to say, this means that he was sleeping on Jimmy for about a quarter and on me for 2 quarters. This means that to make him comfortable enough to sleep, you have to position yourself in the most uncomfortable position while using the most unwilling and unfriendly muscles in your body to contort yourself into some semblance of a slanting baby mattress and freeze that way until your body starts to tremble like you're having seizures.

Obviously, as a parent, you are totally willing to do this.

However, when you get home, it's all you can do to not fall comatose and bang your head into the sink while washing your face. I was utterly spent which seemed really usual to me because we went to bed around 1:00 and that's not really abnormal at our house. It's not as common now as it once was, by any means, but it still happens.

So when I laid myself on the pillow, I knew I was fading fast and it was only a matter of time before I would be redeeming my golden ticket at Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. I took off my glasses and just put them on the pillow in front of me because I decided that my poor broken body couldn't call the strength to put them on my nightstand.

What seemed like a blink of an eye later, Baby was summoning me in his own little language. Usually when I feed Baby at night, I turn the tv on so that I don't fall asleep and also because it gives a low light so I can see what's going on a little more easily. So as I'm getting things arranged for Baby, I can't find the remote. Jimmy and I always put it in between our pillows but it wasn't there and I couldn't find it anywhere. I know this was really rude but I kind of whispered to Jimmy to see if he knew where it is. 3:00 am and I wake my husband about a tv remote when he has to wake up in 4 hours to go to work for 9 hours.... tsk tsk... not nice. However, I don't think very clearly at night which is what my little story is about.

So, anyhow, I wake Jimmy up and he's really nice and gets up and starts looking around. We can't see it anywhere.

"You moved it when I came to bed, Jan," he says. "It was in the middle and I came to bed and you moved it really quickly. I asked for it but you were asleep and I just went to bed."

I have foggy visions of this but I'm not sure if that's what I remember or if it's like when someone tells you a story about when you were little. You think you might remember it but you can't tell if it's a true memory or you are just imagining the scene. That's what this is like for me. However, my foggy vision doesn't help me at all because I have no recollection of putting anything anywhere.

So I'm looking around still and voila!! Of course!! I had stashed it on the nightstand! Right in a deep bowl of canned juicy pineapple where it belongs!! Why didn't I look there before!!

All I can figure is that slumbering Jan was nervous about her glasses getting squashed when Jimmy came to bed so she grabbed everything in the proximity of her spectacles and dumped it all on the table beside the bed. It's just a happy coincidence that she left an unfinished bowl of pineapple there, as well, because she was too tired to finish it and/or take it to the kitchen... A non-slumbering Jan doesn't typically surround herself with sticky fruit bowls.

In the end, Jimmy camped out in the bathroom trying to clean it out for about 10 minutes. In the morning, the remote no longer worked but Jimmy did a quick change of batteries and it was fine.

The sad part of my story is that I lost my bowl of fruit to the battery acid demons. On the bright side, the remote now smells very tropical :)